This week’s exercise is interesting in many ways. I wish that I had a
‘practice partner’ to spend more time with me this week, someone to help
monitor my use of filler words. With this as my area of focus not only can I
hear other people use filler words, they seem to be projected louder than the
rest of the words that are spoken. I am
finding that when talking in groups or simply speaking lackadaisically I do not
hear my own use of these words however while leaving an important voice message
one slipped out and I wished I could retract it!
At the beginning of the week I had a
discussion with a friend where I expressed the value that I see in some of
these filler phrases such as “I think….”. The author notes that filler words
serve several functions. They are space holders, telling the listener that you
are going to start speaking or that you are not finished yet. They often soften what we say, making it less
definite or assertive. Are we afraid of provoking a reaction or being wrong?
My answer to this was yes, as an
experienced professional woman I have often used filler phrases to protect
myself from being accused of being aggressive when I was simply being assertive.
By and large, I do not believe this is a problem that men face. While filler
phrases soften the message, removing filler words strengthens the content.
I could go on and on about gender
differences in regards to communication in the workplace. Instead I am going to
finish my week by continuing to focus on removing the filler words from my
dialog.
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