Week #4 Appreciate Your Hands Midweek Personal Insight

Almost half way through the week and I have really enjoyed this exercise.  I recently recognized that my best friend through life has been my physical body. It has stuck by me and provided unconditional service! This exercise has given me a chance to focus on just one part of my body, my hands.

I clearly remember the moment I learned to type without having to plan and execute every finger placement. I think of all of the remarkable things I have touched all over the world. I wonder why when my hairdresser washes my hair it feels so much better than when I wash my hair. I think of all the handshakes and the messages passed through that customary touch. I could not count how many times my hands have saved me from a fall or protected me from danger. Why do I use my hands when I talk or place them in the same place when I ponder? I recall how my grandmother’s right hand looked after her stroke and notice that when I am stressed I hold my hand in the very same way.

My hands appear to be a doorway to the soul. So much more powerful than I every viewed them before.  Dr. Bays points out that our hands are always caring for us. Even when we sleep they are pulling put the blankets, turning off the alarm clock, holding the body next to us, or in my case stroking my cats.

I am showing gratitude to my hands this week. Slathering them in lovely lotions, massaging and stretching them and appreciating their tireless work.

Namaste

Week #4 Appreciate Your Hands

Exercise: Several times a day, when your hands are busy, watch them as though they belonged to a stranger. Also look at them when they are still.

Namaste

Week #3 Filler Words Wrap Up:

I agree with the author that hearing our own filler words is difficult though I found it was not impossible. When I noticed my communication being diluted by these words the most effective way to stop it was to stop speaking, take a moment, collect my thoughts and begin again. I was mindful.

Jan Chozen Bays points out that the use of filler words has only become common in the past fifty years. I personally enjoy period pieces in part due to their formal and elegant speech. The evolution of the English language includes but is not limited to slang, cultural diversity, lack of education and filler words. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to learn this, no longer formally documented, form of speech. I find it ironic that compared to other countries the native English speaker tends not to learn any other language and in hindsight maybe not even their own.

I strive to communicate in a clear concise manner and deliver a message with meaning and impact. I struggle to manage the sensitivity, baggage and agendas of others. Since I can control my communication and not the latter I elect to focus my attention where it will have the most benefit, on the words that I am presenting to the universe.

In closing the author offers some profound insight. Only when we bring the light of awareness to a pattern of behavior do we begin to have some space to work to modify it. If we want to change ourselves, if we want to realize our potential, it takes kindness, determination, and steady sustained practice.

I look forward to the next exercise, which I will post tomorrow.

Namaste

Week #3 Filler Words, Midweek Personal Insight:

This week’s exercise is interesting in many ways. I wish that I had a ‘practice partner’ to spend more time with me this week, someone to help monitor my use of filler words. With this as my area of focus not only can I hear other people use filler words, they seem to be projected louder than the rest of the words that are spoken.  I am finding that when talking in groups or simply speaking lackadaisically I do not hear my own use of these words however while leaving an important voice message one slipped out and I wished I could retract it!

At the beginning of the week I had a discussion with a friend where I expressed the value that I see in some of these filler phrases such as “I think….”. The author notes that filler words serve several functions. They are space holders, telling the listener that you are going to start speaking or that you are not finished yet.  They often soften what we say, making it less definite or assertive. Are we afraid of provoking a reaction or being wrong?

My answer to this was yes, as an experienced professional woman I have often used filler phrases to protect myself from being accused of being aggressive when I was simply being assertive. By and large, I do not believe this is a problem that men face. While filler phrases soften the message, removing filler words strengthens the content.

I could go on and on about gender differences in regards to communication in the workplace. Instead I am going to finish my week by continuing to focus on removing the filler words from my dialog.

Week #3: Filler Words

Exercise: Become aware of the use of “filler” words and phrases and try to eliminate them from your speech. Fillers are words that do not add meaning to what you’re saying, such as “um,” “ah,” “so,” “well,” “like,” “you know,” “kind of,” and “sort of”. Additional filler words enter our vocabulary from time to time. Recent additions might include “basically” and “anyway”.

In addition to eliminating filler words, see if you can notice why you tend to use them – in what situations and for what purpose.

Namaste

Week #2 Leave No Trace Wrap-up:

I have never thought of myself as lazy, as a matter of fact I busy almost every moment of every day with things that I feel ‘must’ be done. Even with all of the efforts not a moment goes by that I can’t look around and see other things that need to make it onto the ‘must be done’ list.

In part it is that over busyness that has led me to explore mindfulness. While my kitchen sink stayed very clean all week; a clean that I appreciated.  I found myself avoiding making a mess to avoid the pressure of taking the few minutes in my busy day to clean up.

With so many self imposed things to do I have created a system. A system that provides for a clean kitchen at the end of each day. This week, leaving no trace meant that every time I went into the kitchen I had to interrupt my ‘system’ and clean up. I asked myself if I really wanted to be mindful in every moment or if I value some level of auto-pilot. I finally realized it was the break in my system that was at the core of my disturbance not the desire to do it without thought.

In her book How To Train A Wild Elephant, Jan Chozen Bays, MD talks about the satisfaction of cleaning up and being orderly. She relates this exercise to life and leaving the world better, or at least with no trace, from when we entered it. I have often thought that I would like to have a positive impact on this world during my time here. Something specific, though I haven’t quite figured out what that is.

Dr. Chozen leaves us with these words of wisdom: First practice leaving no traces. Then practice leaving things better than you found them.

Stay tuned for next week’s exercise. Feel free to discuss if you like.

Namaste